


The Months Before Us

by kozumejpg



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, I'm sorry I wrote this, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, Sad, Time Skips, Volleyball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:28:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29241345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kozumejpg/pseuds/kozumejpg
Summary: "Y-you... You're going to h-hate m-me for this H-hinata."There came a pause of complete and utter silence,"N-no... no I can't hate you."20 year old Kageyama Tobio finds himself having spent two painfully long years without his best friend, Hinata Shoyo, that he silently fell in love with for years. Returning back to Karasuno for the mere feeling of reassurance, Kageyama finds himself confronted with a number of trials - both good and bad - that may lead him to everything he's ever sought to find in himself. Feeling the same grief, Hinata Shoyo discovers that he cannot bear it any longer to be without Kageyama, leaving them both to their serendipity that always was.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	The Months Before Us

**Author's Note:**

> ⚠️POSSIBLE TWs: suicide attempt, references to mental breakdowns, references to past alcohol use.  
> Though this story is fairly short (at least shorter than most that you would read on here) I put a great level of attentiveness into it and truly hope you enjoy it!  
> Happy reading!  
> ~E

**[Kageyama’s POV]**

The pale glint of sunlight shot through the trees by the Karasuno gym on a brisk Saturday morning. Little opaque puddles formed themselves along the concrete in crevices here and there while a dark-haired man strolled towards what once was a familiar sight. Stopping - just a few yards from the steps on which the man used to soar across with another, on crisp mornings like this - Tobio Kageyama lifted his head to take it all in as though within seconds it would be gone forever. The day marked December 22nd, his birthday. A tear fell from his cheek as memory after memory caught up with him. All of the years spent at Karasuno, matches, practices, wins, losses, training camps, but his heart lurched at the mere name of Shoyo Hinata. Kageyama knew deep down, whether he knew to admit to it or not, that he loved the boy he once named a dumbass. Under his breath came a form of a sigh,

_ “Why did I ever leave you dumbass… Where c-could you possibly be n-now…”  _   
Tobio’s voice broke, though still at a whisper. Two years had passed since the two had exchanged a single word. No text messages or phone calls. Somewhere inside of the wreck that was his mind, Kageyama wished that the orange-haired boy he had stupidly fallen for would come sprinting towards the building just as he did back when things were okay between them. Back when everything was okay.

**[Hinata’s POV]**

  
Hinata groggily woke up to his blaring alarm at 9:00; letting out a little groan, he made his attempt to leave the warmth of his bed. Allowing his feet to hit the cool floor, a slight chill ran up the orange-haired man’s spine. The day sensed Hinata as though he had forgotten something important. His long fingers slowly grasped the worn sneakers that lay by his bedside while he tried to think.The feeling of those shoes fondling between his hands brought him back for a moment to his high school volleyball club. That burst of adrenaline Hinata would feel coursing through his veins as the ball turned his palm a tingling red shade. He remembered the power and control he discerned when the volleyball would perfectly fit into his palm, given that he had put his full trust in the setter in which he shared the ‘weird quick’ with. That was it,   
_ “Kageyama…”  _ Hinata let out a breathy gasp as the name slipped from his lips. _   
_ Dropping the sneakers of white and red to the ground, he shot up to check what day it was. Only  a little bit louder now,  _ “December the twenty-second.”  _ _   
_ Hinata’s heart leaped ferociously knowing exactly what he had forgotten that morning. Every year on this day, the two would meet outside the Karasuno gym, despite Sugawara not being present to open it for them. Hours would go by as the volleyball ripped through the frozen air, both never realizing just how comforting it was to be in each others’ presence. Two years had passed since then, and Hinata was beginning to feel the emptiness in which his friend had once filled. Shoyo brought himself back to the final day they met by the gym. 

**______________________**

**[Two years prior in Hinata’s POV]**

The dark-haired setter’s eyes were bulging with tears, a heart wrenching sight that Hinata had never seen. Everything was off, he could feel it. Hinata locked eye contact with the reddened eyes of Kageyama as he slightly wiped the tears that streamed down his face.    
_ “Kageyama you-” _   
Hinata found himself cut off by the unnervingly quiet voice of the latter,   
_ “Y-you… You’re going to h-hate m-me for this H-hinata.” _ _   
_ There came a pause of complete and utter silence,” _   
_ _ “N-no… no I can’t hate you.” _   
His heart dropped as though Kageyama had just taken a knife through his chest. He began trembling from the inside out as Tobio stammered the words Hinata never thought he would hear.   
_ “I- I can’t do this anymore d-dumbass. I c-can’t go on p-pretending like this, but I- I know the solution now. It- It’s taken everything in-inside of me to do th-this Hinata.” _ _   
_ Hinata knew somewhere trapped in his inmost being that he could never have stopped what was to become of this moment. With his bottom lip trembling now, he let Kageyama continue through sobs.   
_ “I’m s-scared, Hinata… I always have b-been to face this m-moment… But y-you can’t be a part of my l-life anymore… M-maybe someday we c-can be together as I c-could only dream f-for… B-but I need you to accept th-this no matter how d-difficult it's going to be w-without each other.” _ _   
_ In a state of panic, Hinata stood dumbstruck as he gazed at Kageyama’s tear-stained face. He couldn’t bear to see it a second longer; Hinata laced his fingers around the handlebars of his bicycle that sat beside him. A tear rolled down from the corner of his eye as his mind and thoughts took over.   
_ “Goodbye Kageyama-kun.”  
_

Hinata didn’t look back at the dark-haired setter that he had silently fallen in love with all those years. Finally out of sight from Kageyama’s disconsolate gape, Hinata pounded down on the pedals of his bike as tears flowed from his eyes. The wind whipped through his hair with a force as though it had a mind of its own just enough to feel the same grief as the orange haired figure filled with emotion. Ceasing abruptly at the lot beside his then-new apartment building Hinata drew in a cold breath of air just as he let himself break down. He didn’t care who saw him. He didn’t care _if_ anyone at all saw him. He didn’t care if everything simply stopped at once and took away the distress trapped inside. He didn’t understand what was going on, letting a thought marinate in his mind.  
 _Dreaming… Dreaming… Just dreaming._ _  
_In the broken condition that he was in, Hinata found himself unable to move. Accepting the situation as it was, he allowed his vision to become a blurry grayish blue, leaving him to fall asleep on the freezing pavement by his bike. An hour had passed until a familiar voice met Hinata’s ears, still incapable of functioning - not that he physically couldn’t, but that he found no strength in himself to do such.  
 _“Hinata!? What the hell happened?”_ Tadashi Yamaguchi had a distinct voice, especially when he was panicking. After the two graduated, they decided it would be good for them to become roommates. After Yamaguchi’s dad kicked him out of the house, Hinata welcomed him with open arms no matter the number of times Yamaguchi felt awful about ‘intruding’. Over the course of a year, the two moderately found themselves to be like brothers to one another. Still conscious on the ground, Hinata lay there with Yamaguchi checking for a pulse. Hinata’s eyes opened gradually as he let small spurts of light through.   
_“Hinata can you move?”_ Yams really was in panic-mode, _“I’m- I’m gonna pick you up alright? Hang in there.”_   
Hinata, now being carried bridal-style by Yamaguchi, fell unconscious yet again. The rest of the day was a blur for Hinata. He was wiped out mentally and physically, thankfully being taken care of by his roommate. Eventually regaining his strength, he was able to tell Yamaguchi every little thing that happened, like it had been burned into his mind. Yams, being one who struggled to comfort others, wrapped his arms around Hinata letting him know he was there. Hinata received the easement from Yamaguchi, but he was shattered and broken by the words of the one he thought he had fallen for mutually.   


**[End of two years prior in Hinata’s POV]**

**______________________**

**  
** **[Kageyama’s POV]**

Sitting on the pavement now, Kageyama brushed away the tears he had shed and collected himself. No one was around, but him, as he still covertly cried out in the back of his mind, hoping that Hinata was still yearning for his presence the way he did his.

**[Hinata’s POV]**

Knowing that he didn’t have classes that day and had the week off of working at the local drug store, Hinata pondered whether to stay in and enjoy the day off with Yamaguchi… or if taking a bike ride to Karasuno would soothe his mind and memories linked to it and this day. He made his way to the little kitchen that the two shared where Yams was on his phone drinking a coffee that enveloped the room with it’s scent.   
_“Hey uh, Yamaguchi…”_ He looked up from his phone with slightly raise eyebrows to give Hinata a little smile to show he was listening,  
 _“Do you possibly have any plans today? I have a small decision to make, but I wanna make sure I won’t be abandoning you or anything.”_   
Putting down his coffee, Yamaguchi laughed.  
 _“Honestly glad you brought that up… I was planning on spending the day with Tsukki, but I wanted to ask you if you were going to be alright first.”_ _  
_Hinata’s stomach leaped for a second, grasping the thought of going back to Karasuno just to feel that adrenaline rush once more. He suddenly realized Yams was waiting for his answer.  
 _“No no no you guys go enjoy yourselves today… I’ll be…”_ _  
_Hinata almost drifted off into thought until Yamaguchi finished his thought, somehow fully knowing where Hinata planned on being that day,  
 _“...Karasuno?”_ _  
_This sudden end to his thoughts caught Hinata off guard,  
 _“H-how? Well if it’s all good with you… don’t let me get in your way!”_ He staggered a bit when his shoulders were grasped and he was looking straight at Yamaguchi.

_ “Hinata listen… If you start feeling off or if you feel even the slightest bit like you did the last time you were at Karasuno, call me so I can pick you up. Just stay safe alright?” _ _   
_

Hinata nodded, though relieved he had the day to himself, he still felt as though something wasn’t right - not with Yamaguchi, but with his trip to Karasuno. Beginning to talk to himself, his overthinking coated his thoughts…  _ He wouldn’t be there Shoyo. Why would he go all the way there when he couldn’t care less about you anymore. Just go for your own sake, forget about him.  _ His thoughts were interrupted by a small tap at the door - Hinata immediately knew it was Kei Tsukishima. Almost spilling his drink, Yamaguchi flew to open the door for him. Within seconds his green-haired friend embraced his boyfriend tightly with his legs around his torso as well. Hinata made sure not to stare, but getting lost in thought again his heart dropped as his mind circled back to him and Kageyama. In the doorway the two looked like they were ready to leave for the day. Hinata knew that no matter how cold Tsukki could be, he had always had a soft spot for Yamaguchi. As usual, Tsukki greeted him before taking Yamaguchi with him.   
_ “Hinata.” _ _   
_ _ “Tsukki.” _ _   
_ The two shared quick smiles before the door slowly shut behind them with a click. 

Once Hinata had sped to his room to throw on a white sweater and some overalls, he gulped down the fresh air as he strode to his bike. Hopping onto his bike, he began to envision every memory he made at Karasuno as well as  _ with _ Karasuno. Bicycle wheels spinning, Hinata recognized something that he had pushed away for months - whether he wanted to admit to it or not, he was still deeply in love with Kageyama. Feeling like he had escaped reality, Hinata let the frosty air hit his skin with painful force until the near sight of the Karasuno gymnasium abrupted his gaze. A warm comforting sensation flourished through his veins as his legs pumped the bicycle pedals with adrenaline. Hinata knew that since school was out, he could simply walk around to feel a sense of familiarity once again. Telling himself that same thing, something still felt out of place - as though maybe he wasn’t alone. Looking now to the patch of grass by the gymnasium sat a dark haired man.   
_ “No… it- it couldn’t be him.” _ Hinata roughly let out a short breath. He felt his heartbeat continue to get faster as his face began to flush a shade of red. Hinata then remembered words Kageyama had spoken to him the year before everything they had built up fell apart    
  


~ _ ”No matter what happens Hinata Shoyo, I hope you never forget my presence at Karasuno. December twenty second may only arrive once a year, but I promise you I long for it ever more.” _ ~

Hinata was frozen in place while every part of him wanted to cry out to the man he knew deep down once loved him. Slowly the figure turned to him, still sitting, then immediately stopped and sat there on the ground stiff as a pole. 

  
**[Kageyama’s POV]**

Kageyama’s heart dropped at the sight before him. Tears collected in his eyes for the second time that day, yet found no strength to get up.  _ How could he ever forgive me?... How do I let him know I’m still in love with him just as I was all those years in high school?  _ He knew that Hinata truly remembered this day along with his promise to him. He wanted to hold him again. He wanted to tell him how sorry he was. He wanted to never leave his side again. Kageyama’s thoughts crowded his mind until he watched as Hinata fell to the ground sobbing. With that, he knew he couldn't just sit there and watch as the person he loved fell apart at his hand. Kageyama leapt from the cushiony grass towards Hinata, wishing only for him to be in his arms again. 

**[End of Kageyama’s POV]**

  
Hinata felt Kageyama’s familiar brawny arms swaddling him as he cried unceasingly. By the rhythm of the other’s breathing, Hinata knew that he was crying as well. Slightly frightening him, Kageyama finally broke the silence.  
 _“H-hinata I’m so sorry for everything I-I’ve put you through…”_ Hearing his voice brought comfort to Hinata, sweeping every ounce of anger away from his mind that he ever clasped onto for Kageyama.   
_“Every moment I’ve spent without you has made me realize…”_ _  
_Hinata knew what was coming, he felt it as well.  
 _“Hinata I love y-”_ _  
_Without another thought, Hinata had brought his lips to meet his lover’s that hovered above him. Kageyama quivered from the soft surface as he returned the kiss more passionately than before. Weaving his fingers through Hinata’s hair, he felt more connected to his love than he ever had before. Hinata slowly interlocked his fingers with Kageyama as he broke away from his lips.  
 _“I love you too Kageyama…”_ _  
_  


Kageyama was never one to enjoy physical touch, yet with Hinata it was different. He quickly grasped Hinata’s sharp hips pulling him closer to his body, their faces inches apart. Wrapping his legs around Kageyama, Hinata pushed them both to the ground smiling like never before.    
_ “Don’t ever leave me Kageyama Tobio… you’ve taught me how to love.”  _

****______________________** **

Easily worn out, Hinata gave Kageyama his address and agreed to let him bring him home. Though the drive was silent, he felt Kageyama’s presence a comfort as butterflies drove his stomach mad. He awoke as the vehicle pulled into the lot. Seeing Shoyo wake up rubbing his eyes as he scrunched up his face, Kageyama thought to himself, _Oh god he’s perfect…_ Climbing out of his car, he took Hinata’s hand in his and lightly squeezed it as they walked into the building. Hinata and Kageyama decided on returning to Hinata’s apartment for the night seeing as it looked like Yamaguchi was still with Tsukki. The time read 11:39PM as the two settled themselves on the sofa. Loving just the simple presence of Hinata, he let him lay his head across his lap so that they were gazing at each other speechless.   
_“Kageyama?”_ The dark haired guy smiled, letting Hinata know he was listening as he ran his fingers through the other’s hair.   
_“You- you told me that we couldn’t be together. You told me you didn’t want to pretend anymore. You told me you didn’t want me in your life anymore…”_ He felt a tear falling down the side of his face as he spoke the words. There was a pause before Kageyama opened his eyes to lock contact with the other, still possessing a gaze of comfort.  
 _“I was scared of falling even harder for you Shoyo. You- you remember how you’d wonder why I never picked up any girls?”_ Hinata nodded, still encased in the others shining eyes.  
 _“Well, the whole time I only wanted_ _you_ _. No girl, no matter how attractive another could find her, could ever amount to you. These past two years have been hell without you, and Hinata…”_ Hinata wanted to feel their lips touching again from the simple murmur of Kageyama’s voice.   
_“Hinata I could never live without you.”_ There, he said it. The other’s stomach became filled with butterflies each time he said his name.   
_“I never stopped loving you Kageyama-kun… Not for a day.”_ He sat up quickly as they pressed their lips together with force. His tongue entering the other’s with permission, Kageyama put his cold fingers under Hinata’s shirt feeling the warmth of his skin, their lips still entwined. Both shirts were off when keys started to unlock the door of the apartment. Being in the moment, neither of them heard the noise, but soon jumped at the sight of Yamaguchi and Tsukki standing inarticulate in the doorway. The couple at the door began to turn red as they had to process the  two making out shirtless on the sofa. Being who he was, Tsukki broke the stillness with a smirk.   
_ “Damn, well I think we know where that’s going,” _ He then took his green haired boyfriend’s hand and closed the door behind them, leaving the two on the couch with their hands still inseparable.    
_ “Babe you didn’t tell me Yamaguchi lived here as well.”  _ Kageyama laughed breathily and Hinata thought to himself,  _ did he just call me ‘babe’!? _ _   
_ _ “Babe?”  _ Hinata said questioningly.   
_ “Yeah?”  _   
_ “N-no… Did you just call me babe?”  _ He found it cute how Kageyama’s face looked so calm as he said the word.    
_ “O-oh yeah, is that okay?” _ _   
_ _ “Of course it is… I just had to process it… Does- does this mean we’re…”  _ He was cut off. _   
_ _ “Boyfriends? If you want that as much as I want you…”  _ Hinata knew he never wanted to let him go. _   
_ _ “Then in that case… Please don’t ever leave me Kageyama.”  _ _   
_ The two, now boyfriends, finally knew that they didn’t need to be afraid to love one another anymore. Hinata was still on his boyfriend’s lap with his legs tied around the other’s torso when Kageyama lifted him up. He clutched onto him like he’d fade away if he loosened his grip all while bringing him to the bedroom down the short hallway. He didn’t want to rush things too much for the two of them, which led them both to cuddle one another close. His mind was empty of anything but gripping Hinata’s figure while he took in the familiar scent of the one he loved. Kageyama rested his chin atop Hinata’s head as his breath drifted him off to sleep. Before he floated off into sleep, he whispered something knowing his boyfriend was already lost in slumber.   
_ “I’m never leaving you again Hinata Shoyo till death takes me from you.”  _   
What the dark haired man didn’t know, was that the one he held close had taken in every word. Drowsily, Hinata squeezed his boyfriend’s hand to tell him he had heard him. He enjoyed the warm feeling of Shoyo’s face relaxing against his chest, and fell asleep with him in his arms and a smile formed on his lips. Kageyama held him closer to the warmth of his chest as the couple dozed off into sleep.   


**[6 months later]**

  
It had been around 6 months since the night that Kageyama had asked Hinata to be his boyfriend - now June 21st, Hinata’s birthday. It only took a bit of discussion with Yamaguchi to let him live with Kageyama, leaving Tsukki to take his place and live with Yams. Though the two were pretty busy, Hinata would try and find every excuse possible to leave work early or to skip school for the day - obviously wanting his boyfriend to as well - so they could spend more time together. By now, the couple had easily felt comfortable enough with each other that they had eventually gotten to stealing each others’ virginities, leading to Kageyama’s occasional oversharing of it to Sugawara and Daichi (who were a couple as well). The two couples thought it would be good for them to meet up once or twice a week with their old teammates. Suga told them that they could come over to his and Daichi’s apartment that week to catch up a bit. After arriving with fingers interlaced, Hinata and Kageyama sat together on the countertop while Suga and Daichi sat on the carpeted floor a few feet from them. Mid-conversation Kageyama somewhat startled his boyfriend.  
 _“He may not look it but he’s damn good in b-”_ Hinata cut his boyfriend off quickly while Suga shot them both a smirk. _  
_ _“Kageyama nooo…”_ He whined as his hand shot straight towards Kageyama’s mouth in an attempt to shut him up about it. His hand stopped abruptly by his boyfriend’s large fingers wrapping around his wrist tightly. Before Hinata could hesitate he was pulled towards Kageyama’s lips, forming it into a passionate kiss that he found he never wanted to break from. The couple’s lips parted, then subtly noticed Daichi and Suga with proud-mom-looking expressions spread across their faces. Suga had his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder as he internally cheered them on in his mind. Hinata immediately turned bright red but couldn’t control the smile that dared creep over his lips.   
_“Seeeee Daichi I always told you there was something between them!”_ Suga had an enormous grin across his face. Daichi sat side-eyeing his boyfriend with a loving smile then looked back to the couple leisurely set on the counter.  
 _“To be fair, our whole team_ _did_ _always see you two together someday.”_  
Kageyama laughed, his ears red from embarrassment - not the bad type of embarrassment, but the one when you know something is right in every way and someone points it out to you. Hinata buried his face in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck giggling happily. The silver haired man on the ground quickly whispered something to the other beside him then spoke up.  
 _“So… Since everything that had happened between you two beforehand.. parting ways and whatnot, our team never got a chance to reunite… Sooo seeing as we already got you two here, we thought-”_ His words were interrupted by a hasty knock on the door. Daichi sprang up from where he had planted himself on the ground and made his way to the door.   
_“Hey you dumbasses are late as usual!”_ Suga hollered, trying to sound mean but dropped the act as Nishinoya and Asahi strut into the room.   
_“Noya-san!!!”_ Hinata greeted him with a hug as Nishinoya jumped vigorously.   
_“Hinataaaa Kageyamaaaa we’ve missed you guys!”_ Asahi pulled the hyper guy from Hinata and wrapped an arm around him.  
 _“Damn so you two finallyyy got together after all those years of obvious sexual tension?”_ _  
_Asahi smirked, going back and forth from eyeing Hinata and Kageyama, who was now being attacked by Noya. Patting Nishinoya’s head so he would free him, Kageyama saw his chance and took it. Swiftly bringing his arms around Hinata from behind, the dark haired man locked his lips with his boyfriend as he looked up at him. With his arms still around the other’s waist, Kageyama looked up at Asahi with a smirk.  
 _“That should answer your question.”_  
 _Shit, I’m blushing again aren’t I?_ Shoyo thought to himself as butterflies swarmed his stomach and up through his chest. Within seconds, three more bursted into the room: Yamaguchi, Tsukki, and Tanaka. Yams and Tsukki, having already known about the couple, weren’t surprised to have walked in on that sensual kiss. Tanaka on the other hand stared agape with his eyebrows fully raised, smirking.   
_“Hey, why the f*ck didn’t anyone tell me they’re finally a couple!?”_  
Tanaka laughed and squished them both into a hug. Hinata wasn’t embarrassed in the least, yet he was blushing to the point of Kageyama realizing it.  
 _“Babe, is everything alright? You look kinda red… Cute as hell, but… Flushed.”_ He stroked Hinata’s hair back as he spoke.  
 _“Mhm, of course… Just overwhelming… And, between you and me, finding out everyone already wanted us together in the first place just makes me even happier right now.”_ Hearing those words made Kageyama feel an even greater sense of gratitude for his boyfriend.  
 _“I wasn’t gonna say it, but I feel it as well.”_ _  
_Just as Hinata thought that those would be the only ones to reunite, four more let themselves into the already crowded apartment: Bokuto and Akaashi followed by Kuroo and Kenma, both Hinata presumed to be dating now. _Thankfully Suga’s place is big enough for all of us._ Unsurprisingly _,_ Bokuto came at him first, pulling him into a rough bear hug, as he patted him on the back. Kuroo followed, but pulled Kenma into the tight hug as well. Akaashi made eye contact with both him and Kageyama, giving them a smile, almost like he knew, even though he didn’t. Seeing Hinata looking overwhelmed once again, Kageyama wasn’t just going to accept the fact that not everyone there knew who his person was, and needed to comfort his boyfriend as well. Hinata had since made his way to the sofa, sitting with Bokuto and Kuroo who were shooting random questions at him left and right. Slowly setting himself next to his boyfriend, Kageyama placed his hand on the other’s shoulder. He then whispered in his ear loud enough for the two others to hear, making Hinata feel a tingly sensation course through his veins.   
_“You alright babe?”_ Hinata grinned as he realized his boyfriend had figured out that that name was his weakness.  
 _“Stop worryinggg, I’m alright.”_ He said above a whisper, while Kageyama lightly pecked his lips. Predictably, Bokuto had to have his opinion heard with an over exaggerated gasp.  
 _“AWWW I knew it! I knew you two always had something going on! Akaashi we were righttt.”_ The quiet dark haired guy smiled at Shoyo before he responded to his boyfriend.  
 _“Of course Bokuto.”_ He slightly giggled before exiting the room towards the bathroom. Just like Suga and Daichi, Kuroo sat next to them with his proud-mom-face.  
 _“You two had to catch me off guard like that!?”_ Hinata could see Kenma chuckling a few feet from them as he watched his boyfriend speak.   
_“Kenma baby did you see that!?”_ _  
_ _“Yes Kuro…”_ He then moved his shiny eyes to Kageyama and Hinata, somewhat smirking, _“He’s trying to say we’ve found you two to be a perfect couple since high school.”_ Kuroo nodded vigorously in agreement. _  
_Though words couldn’t describe exactly what Hinata was feeling, his tense body began to relax into his boyfriend’s warm chest as the chatter spread around them.

**______________________**

**[Timeskip to end of the reunion]**

  
The first to leave were Kuroo and Kenma, due to the shy one’s anxiety becoming too much for him to handle. He gripped Kuroo’s hand tightly as he smiled to say his simple goodbye to Hinata.  
 _“Sorry for leaving so abruptly… I’m happy for you Shoyo.”_ Kuroo moved a strand of hair from Kenma’s face as he led him towards the door. _  
_ _“You two are so adorable if I might say so.”_ The dark haired man smirked before leaving the apartment with his boyfriend. The rest gradually left one-by-one, or two-by-two as was the case with Tsukki and Yamaguchi as well as Bokuto and Akaashi. Bokuto, being who he was, squeezed both of them happily.  
 _“You guys are so perfect together.”_   
Hinata giggled knowing how true that was, as Kageyama fought back the urge to kiss his boyfriend. _Shoyo has always been perfect…_ The remaining 3 eventually left, only after Nishinoya attacked the couple once more though. Tanaka and Asahi both gave the two side hugs along with smirks of approval. Once the two original couples were left in the apartment, Suga spoke up first.  
 _“WELLLL guys I’d say that went pretty smoothly.”_ _  
_He was mainly talking to Daichi, seeing as the other two had made their way to the sofa again and were cuddling, not caring about the others seeing them.  
 _“You two do realize this isn’t your living-space right?”_ _  
_Kageyama looked up to get a glimpse of Daichi’s grin. He knew full well where he was: he was at peace clutching firmly to the person he loved. As true as that was, Daichi still had a point. Hinata sat up, disorientated from being lost in his thoughts.  
 _“Wanna go back to our apartment now Tobio?”_ _  
_Kageyama instantly lagged as he couldn’t control his mind. _God he’s so cute after he gets out of his little zone thing… He looks tired… But he’s adorable… Going back home would be a good idea… Home…_ Hinata’s eyes didn’t leave his for a second as he realized they had been making eye contact the whole time.  
 _“U-uh yeah, let’s go.”_  
Suga and Daichi sniggered as the dazed couple made their way out of the apartment, Hinata grabbing the other’s wrist for solace.  
 _“Tobio… Do you want to take a walk through the park before we head for home?”_ Tobio still got  butterflies when he said his name.   
_ “If you aren’t too tired… You looked drained earlier.” _ _   
_ _ “In a bad way?”  _ _   
_ Kageyama whipped his head towards Shoyo.  _ Oh shit he took that the wrong way…  _ _   
_ _ “No no no no Shoyo you’re perfect… I just want to make sure you’re alright.” _ _   
_ His bright familiar smile returned to Tobio’s eyes when he heard him whisper.   
_ “I think you’re perfect too Tobio Kageyama.” _ _   
_ Silence fell over them as the two strolled through the grass while the bright bittersweet sunset enveloped their figures. Kageyama’s surprisingly soft hands crept over his lover’s back. Having wanted to touch him even more throughout the day, Hinata instantaneously grabbed the collar of the other’s shirt and pulled him down to endure the breathtaking joining of their lips. The impact sent them both to the ground while their fingers still interlaced with each other. 

**______________________**

**[Timeskip to the next week]**

**  
** **[Kageyama’s POV]**

  
Heavy showers poured down from the clouded sky while Tobio and Shoyo could still be found under the sheets cuddling as they had been the night before. The dark haired man had been awoken by the storm hours before, but didn’t wake his boyfriend because holding the smaller figure in his arms brought him relief. Without warning, he jolted upright with Kageyama’s arms still tight around his torso. Shocked at the sudden gesture of Hinata, he let out a breathy gasp, leading Shoyo’s frightened eyes to meet with his.   
_ “Tobio I-”  _ He didn’t know why his boyfriend didn’t finish what he meant to say, but had no time to

question before the other’s orange haired physique was crushed into his chest, sobbing. He let his lover cry as he stroked large circles on his bare back. An hour passed before he felt his stature being loosened from Hinata’s grip. Just as he was implementing that he wanted to say something, Shoyo cut him off.   
_ “Just a bad dream Kageyama… That’s all.”  _   
He could tell that Hinata’s little offhand grin meant that whatever it was that was bothering him so much, meant more than he wanted to let off.    
_ “Shoyo… Baby if you need to tell me why you’re so upset, please- please tell me now. You know full well I can see straight through your half-assed smiles.”  _

Hinata’s face relaxed at the voice of the other.   
_ “It was a bad dream Tobio… I’m fine now… You’re here…” _ _   
_ He lifted the chin of Shoyo to perceive his tear-stained face and reddened eye. Planting an impassioned kiss on the boy’s lips he found familiar words for the sudden outburst.   
_ “I’ll always be here Shoyo… I’m never leaving you again, till death takes me from you.” _ _   
_ His bottom lip began to tremble not being able to hold it in any longer. He couldn’t see his boyfriend like this… It reminded him of that moment all those awful years prior when he told him they couldn’t be together. He held him. He held him as tight as he possibly could without bringing pain to Shoyo. The smaller one let himself be held by his boyfriend before deciding to give a go at clearing his mind. It was early afternoon by now, but Hinata insisted.

_“Tobio, I need some fresh air right now alright? I’ll be back home in around 40 minutes…”_ _  
_He began to act strangely again just as he had that morning.  
 _“I’ll go with you.”_ Kageyama began to reach for his sneakers as a hand stopped him from doing so.  
 _“No… I need alone time right now. I- I promise I’m not mad with you or anything, I just… haven’t gone for a quiet bike ride in a while.”_ _  
_ _“But-”_ _  
_ _“Please… I’ll be back before you know it.”_ _  
_He wanted so badly to be able to make sure his boyfriend would be alright. He knew how stubborn the guy was. No number of pushing and prodding could change Hinata’s mind, yet he felt an immeasurable sense that he needed to be with him while he was like this. Dumbstruck, Kageyama stood by the counter watching him leave without another word spoken. He couldn’t do anything but gape at the clock hung on the wall.  
 _“Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay…?”_ He wanted so badly to trust Hinata but additionally was falling apart at the seams every waking minute the door didn’t open. He called  Shoyo’s phone once those excruciating forty minutes had gone by, his heartbeat getting faster. The sound of the phone being picked up brought glee to his heart. Awaiting the sound of his boyfriend’s voice there came another. He began to quiver aggressively as the voice of a police officer rang through his ears.

**[Hinata’s POV during Kageyama’s]**

Closing the door behind him, he recalled the nightmare from earlier that morning. 

  
**[Hinata remembering his dream]**

The vacant emptiness that surrounded both him and his boyfriend distressed him. The echo of bells clanged around them, encasing them in a brutal fanfare. He couldn’t scream. He couldn’t move. As frightening as it was, nothing amounted to not being able to reach his lover’s hand. He began drifting away from him as he faintly heard the words  _ I can’t love you anymore Hinata. _ He was gone, brought away by the sounds around him until everything stopped. A flash of radiance stung his eyes as an image coursed through his mind: the gravestone of Tobio Kageyama. Everything became a blur until he found himself sweating profusely and gazing into the alarmed eyes of his lover. 

**[End of Hinata’s dream]**

_ You know it means nothing Hinata, get a grip…  _ He pounded the pedals of his bike as his thoughts whirled around his head. In utter confusion, large tears began streaming down his face causing him to lose focus. An intersection was coming up seconds from where he felt himself shutting down. Not knowing what had come over him, everything revolved into a black nothingness. 

**[Kageyama’s POV]**

  
Devastated and feeling a surge of culpability, Kageyama had only caught which hospital they were to transfer his boyfriend to. Yanking on his untied footwear, the man sprinted to his vehicle as rapidly as he found humanly capable. Rain began to plummet again as he drove just above the speed limit. _This is all my fault Hinata… Hang in there for me…_ He repeated over and over in his mind until the stomach-churning sight of the hospital met his regard. He was told to bide his time in the waiting room while they did every possible thing they could to keep him alive. Beginning to have a nervous breakdown, Kageyama sent a text to Suga.  


**_Kageyama:_ ** _ Hinata had an accident, Suga. You know the hospital that you can see from your apartment? Meet me there on the 5th floor in waiting room 2. I need you here _ _. _

**_Sugawara:_ ** _ I’ll be there in five. Hang in there for me okay? _ _   
_ **_Kageyama:_ ** _ I’m trying…  _ _   
_ He pocketed his phone as he waited for his friend to barge through the waiting room door. Every inch of his body was convulsing while the blood in his head pounded from fear of never seeing Shoyo’s glassy eyes open once more. Sobs broke free from his lips as Sugawara shoved through the door to find him uncontrollably bawling in the corner of the vicinity. Kageyama let himself be held by the concerned elder one until a nurse showed them both to Shoyo’s room. Once they had gotten the vanquished Tobio from off of the ground, they had everything that happened explained to them. Though he couldn't bear to see tears leave Suga’s eyes, he knew he had begun to cry as well.   
_ “We’re afraid he’s fallen into a coma… Everyone is truly doing all that they can for him.” _ _   
_ The unconscious, beaten-up body of his boyfriend who he had just been holding in his arms hours before, lay with an IV and innumerable machines hooked up to him. Tobio fell to the ground in wrenching agony.    
_ “Wake up Shoyo, please! Wake up, this is all my fault… I fought too hard trying to get you back for those two years… You can’t leave me now! I’m sorry for letting you go. I’m sorry for being irritating sometimes. I’m sorry that I may never see your precious smile again… If you can hear me Shoyo I hope you know how much I love you… Don’t- don’t leave me like I left you!” _

Suga had turned his back, now in a pool of tears as the words of Kageyama pierced him. 

**[Timeskip 45 minutes later]**

  
Sugawara had called Daichi and explained everything to his boyfriend with tears threatening to roll down his portrait. Kageyama’s mind ushered away the pain that still lay inside of him, as he continued to feel guilty for the state of the person he loved more than anything. He was numb as he stood up now, realizing every little thing that had gone on that afternoon.   
_“I-I’m going to the restroom.”_ He lied to the two others around Hinata’s bedside. Both nodded their heads before he left the room. No, he wasn’t going to the restroom - he wasn’t even staying in that stupid hospital a second longer. He had no control over himself whatsoever jumping into the driver’s seat of his car as tears began flowing doing his cheeks. He somehow made it back to the apartment, in which he left unlocked for reasons he knew were coming. Insensibly, the man firmly grasped the sleeping pills he left in the cabinet just above the kitchen sink, took the  bottle to his room as he read to  _ ‘take no more than 4 in a 24 hour time-span’ _ . Downing the 6 supplements that were remaining, Kageyama fell asleep as numb as one could be.   


**______________________**

**[Timeskip 5 hours later]**

**  
** There was a familiar voice hanging over the partially-awake man. Blood rushed to his head, pounding at his ears.  _ Bokuto? _

“SUGA! SUGA, GET YOUR ASS IN HERE! HE’S AWAKE!” The loud hollering of his friend perpetrated his hearing. Blinking heavily, Kageyama could make out the shape of Sugawara running into the room with Akaashi. Daichi had offered to stay by Hinata’s side while Suga panicked at his friend having left the hospital in the state of mind he was in. The closest person he knew to Kageyama’s apartment was Bokuto, who dragged Akaashi along as well after he was asked to go check up on Kageyama.    
_ “Bokuto! Hand me that water bottle over there. Kageyama needs to stay hydrated.”  _ _   
_ He grabbed the water from the end table, handing it to Suga, but Bokuto’s eyes grew wide as he wobbly noticed the empty pill bottle tucked under Kageyama’s pillow.   
_ “Oh god, Tobio you…” _ _   
_ Sugawara seized the bottle from the other’s hand, clearly on the verge of losing it.    
_ “You were… Kageyama you were trying to kill yourself!? Shoyo isn’t gone you simpleton idiot! Even if he was, what would be next? You don’t think we care about you? Of course we do Tobio. What do you think would happen if he came out of this, calling for you, only to be told you had left us due to his accident?”  _ _   
_ His silver haired friend’s face turned to a carmine-shade, clearly out of panic and vexation, before burying his face in the sheets strewn on the bed. Bokuto, still standing by the bed awestruck by everything, looked into Kageyama’s eyes with a deeply downhearted cast. Grabbing the dark haired one’s shoulders, he pulled him into a tight hug, while Suga collected himself and went to sit by him atop the bedsheets.    
_ “You’re alright… You- you’re alright…” _ _   
_ Suga purred while taking a go at calming Kageyama down. Though he hadn’t noticed it at first, Akaashi was sitting on a chair in the corner of the room with reddened, puffy eyes. Bokuto too  was still shaken by the sight of his friend who he didn’t know would wake up. He knew that Bokuto would never be this calm in the situation he had put them all in, but took back the thought seconds later. Bokuto’s body had begun to shake until a sob broke through the silence of the room.   
_ “K-Kageyama why would you… You know that we’re all here for you… _ ”    
After the four sat in silence for a while, Suga left the room to inform Daichi that he was awake. After some discussion, Suga agreed with his boyfriend that it would only make sense for Kageyama to be monitored at all times while staying at their apartment in order for them to make sure he wasn’t going to hurt himself. Though he found comfort in the loyalty and care from his closest friends, Kageyama was still enraged with himself and the entirety of the state of affairs.    
Over the course of the next three weeks, Suga, Daichi, and occasionally Bokuto (assisted by Kuroo when Akaashi couldn’t make it) took turns helping Kageyama through what he was feeling, assuring him that none of it was his fault. Though comforted by the presence of his closest friends, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of doubt that his lover would ever wake up. Every day, he made sure that he could spend at least an hour by Hinata’s side, talking to him, never knowing if he could hear a word of it. Day in and day out Kageyama stayed by his side, until one day he entered the hospital as usual, but was told he wasn’t allowed in to see Shoyo. Panic shuddered through him as Kuroo, who gladly took the day to stay with him, tried to calm his friend down and reassure him everything would be alright.    
_ “No matter what’s going on in that room Kageyama, he’s going to push through this.” _   
He wanted so badly to believe those words. A tear fell from Tobio’s eyelashes, Kuroo continued to rub his back, meanwhile texting Suga to get to the hospital.    
**_Kuroo:_ ** _ Suga, we need you at the hospital. Please hurry. _ _   
_ **_Suga:_ ** _ You’re lucky I just got off of work early. Did something go wrong with Hinata? _ _   
_ **_Kuroo:_ ** _ We’re not sure yet, but Kageyama isn’t doing too well over here. _ _   
_ **_Suga:_ ** _ I’ll be there in a few. _

It hadn’t been two minutes, when a nurse barged through the door that Kageyama had been staring intently at for the past fifteen minutes.    
_ “K-Kageyama?”  _   
He could pinpoint nothing to her voice, but she held a smile on her lips.   
_ “Yes? Is he alright? What happened? Can I see h-” _ _   
_ _ “The patient you’ve been visiting - Hinata - he’s awake.” _ _   
_ Kageyama didn’t know what to do. His feet felt as though they were sunken into the floor.  _ He’s- he’s okay…  _ Kuroo squeezed Kageyama around the torso to lift him, so he could go to his  boyfriend that called out his name the moment he could sense consciousness again.  _ “Kuroo… Kuroo he’s okay. He’s awake.” _ _   
_ The two hugged, Kuroo relieved to see his friend smile again, a sight he hadn’t seen since the accident.   
_ “Go to him, Kageyama.” _

He trembled, scared that Hinata was in pain but covered it up with a smile. Kageyama’s eyes laid on the frail face that peered back at him.    
_ “Tobio…”  _ _   
_ Shoyo whimpered trying to catch his breath.    
_ “I’m here Shoyo… it’s alright babe, just listen to me.” _ _   
_ Now holding both his hands between his, Tobio stared at him passionately.    
_ “Yes Tobio?” _ _   
_ _ “Damn it, I- I love you… Can- can you forgive me for letting this- all of this happen to you?” _

A small pause followed, likely Hinata gaining some strength.   
_ “None of it was you Tobio… I was so dumb.”  _ _   
_ _ He sounds so weak… I want to hold him again… But I’ll hurt him…  _ Kageyama feebly smiled before letting him finish.  _   
_ _ “And Tobio?” _ _   
_ He delicately gripped his boyfriend’s hand to allow him feel his presence.

_ “I love y-you too… so much more than I ever planned.” _ _   
_ Without daring to touch a fraction of Hinata’s broken body, he softly concealed their lips as butterflies ran through his chest. _   
_ The couple, relieved at each other’s conscious presence, sat in quietude as beeps and clicks could be heard around the room. Kageyama enveloped himself in the familiar scent of Shoyo, but mixed with various chemical-like smells. The same thought from the last trio of weeks revolved in his mind,  _ Please don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me here without you…  _ _   
_ The two had swathed themselves in each other’s existence, taking them ten minutes to realize that Suga had brought along each friend that they had been reunited with only weeks prior. From tears of pain seeing the sight before them, or joy at Shoyo’s consciousness, Kageyama couldn’t tell, but there lay a peace in the room combined with a faint uneasiness. Each had a small chance to tell Hinata they were really there until a nurse came into the room ushering the crowd out, except for Tobio who still held Shoyo’s smaller palm in his own.   
Silence fell again when the figure left the room once more.   
It had been minutes since she closed the door behind her when a sudden gasp came from  Hinata. Kageyama’s heartbeat became rapid as he yelled for a nurse.   
_ “Tobio it hurts!”  _ The pale figure was breathing unsteadily.   
_ “I’m here baby… Hang in th-there.” _ _   
_ _ “I-I’m s-sorry…” Hinata paused, still gasping for air, “Th-thank you for loving m-me T-Tobio.” _ _   
_ Their eyes met now, Tobio’s brimming with tears that threatened to fall as he watched the person he held dearest fall back against the hospital mattress. Time, sounds, everything just seemed to stop as he felt himself being slowly brought out of the room, his eyes still hooked on the lifeless body. The years they had spent together flushed through his mind like a headache along with those months that could’ve been, he knew weren’t before them anymore. Tobio didn’t know when his tears began to fall, but rivers flowed from his hurting eyes, wanting to hold his first love just one more time. He hurt his own ears, uncontrollably yelling for his departed boyfriend.   
_ “D-DON’T LEAVE ME HERE WITHOUT Y-YOU SHOYO! BRING HIM BACK TO ME! BRING HIM BACK! PLEASE… I LOVE HIM!”  _ _   
_ His head throbbed with agony as Sugawara ran to catch his fall. His friends, now realizing what was happening, didn’t try to hide their tears. Some let out roaring sobs while others, like Kenma Kozume, were being held by their loved one as they broke into tears. A cry from Yamaguchi panned the waiting room as he clung onto Tsukishima, who gripped his shirt with an obvious storm of teardrops falling from his eyes, glasses fogged up. Suga and Daichi especially couldn’t contain themselves, while they tried so hard to make the other’s feel comforted. Tanaka had enveloped him into a hug as they both wept on the floor of the waiting room.  _ He’s- he’s gone now… Forever…  _   
Standing up unsteadily, Kageyama tried to break free from the waiting room, but his movements were seized by Sugawara’s powerful grip at his wrist. There was a strong look of pain in his eyes, but his friend’s motherly-gaze never left. He wasn’t having that awful moment from three weeks prior occur again, and possibly even work. Hours later, they were told that they had later found pre-existing heart problems with Hinata, leading his cause of death to be a heart attack. Tobio’s insides felt like they were being suffocated as he played over Shoyo’s last words to him before he took his last breath and closed his joyful eyes for the last time. 

_ ~”Thank you for loving me Tobio…”~ _

_ **______________________** _

**[Timeskip two weeks later]**

At the request of Sugawara, Tobio had settled himself in the guest bedroom in his and Daichi’s apartment. He couldn’t coerce himself to reinstate his life as usual in the home he once shared that held hurtful memories of Shoyo.

_ “Kageyama… I need to talk with you. Daichi and I both do…”   
It had been two weeks since he had lost his boyfriend on that rainy day, as scents of Shoyo’s hospital room encased him into a dreadful longing for him.   
“What about?”    
He mumbled back to him, as Daichi tactically walked into the room.    
“Hinata.”    
That name. Just his fucking name made him hurt, but he wasn’t about to show it, not then anyway. A heavy silence followed, Suga soon realizing that the other didn’t have an answer.   
“That day I called Bokuto to come and check in on you when you left the hospital and Akaashi helped you back to our apartment… The day you tried to end it all…”    
He still felt a stab of guilt from that nightmarish afternoon.  You can say it Suga, how I was being selfish for trying.  He could’ve said, but it wouldn’t leave his tongue. Instead he found himself apologizing for his actions.   
“You know I’m sorry about it Suga… The way I put you all through a second round of hell that day after… His accident.”   
The two in front of Kageyama gazed at him with a look of somewhat surprise, mingled with a comforting parental gleam in their eyes.    
“No more apologizing Kageyama… Nothing - NOTHING - was your fault.”    
Sugawara’s chest raised as he lifted his voice, his boyfriend’s hand planting itself on the other’s shoulder.    
“In any case, the reason for the abrupt parental-like meeting wasn’t about that, though we’ll still keep a close eye on you.”    
He pulled a slip of lined paper from his pocket that was folded perfectly crisp along the edges, making a chill run through his spine.  You don’t even know what it is dumbass, stop getting so tense. He was carefully handed the letter, dread creeping along his fingers as he plotted to open its untouched corners.   
“While- while I was searching for new clothes for you around your bedroom, obviously not knowing where whose clothes were kept where, I came across this letter. I promise I didn’t read  _ _ it, but I knew it was Hinata’s hand-writing…” _ _   
_ Tobio looked down, sure enough, Shoyo’s scrawled penmanship printed out  _ To Tobio, in case of anything or nothing at all.  _ Suga sighed, glancing towards Daichi. _   
_ _ “I- I had hoped I wouldn’t have to give it to you… And it didn’t feel right to give it to you immediately after what happened.”  _ _   
_ Tobio was glad Suga decided not to share it with him until then, knowing he wouldn’t have been able to take it without warning - not that he believed he could just then either. He managed to form a response as electricity fired throughout his stomach in trepidation.    
_ “Thank you Suga…” _

_ He had no idea why or when Hinata had written the letter, but he knew that his boyfriend had always stuck to things as ‘just in case…’ which Kageyama had never thought much on until he serenely appreciated it just then. He didn’t fancy crying any more than he already had in front of his parental-like friends, but held the piece of paper a bit tighter before bringing the ends up to unfold it with shaky hands. Out of the corner of his vision, Kageyama could tell Daichi was having Suga look away so as to not make him uncomfortable while he read. _

_   
**Dear Tobio,** **  
** **If you happen to be reading this, though formed by a sad reality, I’m probably gone from you now. I wish I could be there to comfort you and hold you like I know you would me. Whether that be years or days from the time I’m writing this, I hope you still love me the same as I never stopped loving you. I don’t really think time matters for me to say any of this, mainly seeing as I know I would never stop hungering to feel your touch and that beautiful gleam in your eyes every waking day. You taught me how to love in the realest way I never knew possible.** **  
** **I’d want to say sorry for the times I got mad with you and even the times I became overly affectionate towards you when you didn’t want that. I hope one day you’ll look back on each second that we spent together and feel a warmth grow inside instead of pain. Please find a way to feel better, I wouldn’t want you hurting of course baby.** **  
** **I know there are going to be times where you’re going to feel alone, but I’m right here in your heart holding your hand through anything and everything you’re going through.** **  
** **Live every second of every day the way you would want me to if you were gone. Stay close to the people who care about you, conquer your worst fears and greatest dreams, maybe even fall in love once more. Do everything you can for yourself to regain happiness again, but please, please never forget about me Tobio Kageyama. Never forget how truly loved you were. I love you and will never stop doing so, even when death** _ **_welcomes me with open arms._ ** **_  
_ ** ****

**_Thank you for everything Tobio, you made this life worth living._ **

**_  
_ ** **_Yours for eternity,_ **

**_  
_ ** **_Shoyo_ **

_ _

Tobio’s body had leveled wholly motionless while he peered over the letter, pondering it’s every detail one more time before lifting his suffering laiden eyes. They were bloodshot and stinging as he found himself caught in the storm of salty tears running down his face. He tried forcefully to contain himself, but a great bawl wretched itself from the very depths of his throat, engulfing every corner of the room. Light enough that the others wouldn't hear, a whisper grasped his lips.   
_ “I- I miss you so m-much Sh-Shoyo.” _ _   
_ Small sobs could be heard as Kageyama clutched onto the only words left that remained of his boyfriend. Recalling what Shoyo had written on the rippled paper, he locked his face away with his hands to cover his pain with nothing but him on his mind.    
_ Hey Shoyo… If you can hear me at all, I want you to know that there will never be even a fraction of a moment that I forget you… I feel so lost now without being able to hold your warmth against my chest, and I miss having you rest your head in the crook of my neck like you always did. Movie nights are gonna be lonely without your beautiful smile by my side. I hope you’re happier now, happier than I could have ever made you here babe. You never forget me either alright? I miss you more than ever…  _

Kageyama wanted to maintain hope that his lover had apprehended his every word. 

After a short while, Suga eventually went to stroke the back of Kageyama wordlessly, while Daichi headed to the kitchen to make Tobio something to drink knowing he wouldn't be in the right mindset to do so himself. Tobio sensed in some way that Shoyo would be content to know that his boyfriend was being taken care of. Kageyama continued to repeat Shoyo’s words time after time inside the ocean of memories gripping at his mind, until he drifted off to sleep from the motion of Suga’s soft motherly-like touch.   
~ _ ”You made this life worth living”~ _

_ **______________________** _

_   
_ _   
_ **[Timeskip 6 months later]**

Kageyama had visited Shoyo’s grave every waking chance he found. Hours would be spent beside the stone, engraved with a name that he found so prepossessing with a sting. The day was Tobio’s birthday, December the twenty-second - what was so utterly different was the painful silence of the reality before him.

_ “You’d want me to be happy today wouldn’t you…” _ _   
_ A long wretched murmur of the breeze clung to his ears in the actuality of his loneliness.    
_ “I- I decided to spend the day with you anyway Shoyo… Not that you would know that… Maybe it’s weird to be telling this to you when you aren’t even here, but it still hurts when I reach out in panic to feel your body against mine, but all that’s left is a frozen emptiness laying next to me where you used to be. That look of pure pain that swarmed your face just moments before death took your beautiful soul… I hope all of that pain is gone from you now. I miss you more than I ever thought I would. ” _ __   
Sitting beside the gravestone of Shoyo Hinata, a familiar, yet not present, voice caught his hearing. It was nearly as though his boyfriend had held his hand for a single moment whispering the clearest,  _ “I’m with you Tobio…”  _ in his ear. A tear fell from the closed eyes of Kageyama, while he realized deep within his entangled heart that Shoyo had been with him every moment. A quivering laughter escaped his being as he whispered into the light air.   
__ “You never left my side…”

**Author's Note:**

> If you've read through the whole story now, I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart!   
> I've put my all into this story and it means a lot that even one would see it <3  
> If you're here, I love youuuu  
> ~E


End file.
